Thoughts on Public School Teaching.

My colleagues and I at the MS Music trip to Hershey Park, PA

No one knows what it is like to be a first year teacher, you can't even try to imagine it. You are back in the public schools after about a 4 or 5 year term in college and that alone takes some time to get used to again. Then you are under constant scrutiny of your Administrators, 'constructively criticizing' your every move. If your lucky you will have nice students, who have an open mind, and give you a chance. If you are anywhere close to what I walked into last August, then the students view you like a wounded gazelle on the Serengeti, doing every little thing to make your life hard; as some sort of tribute to their former teacher. That first year of teaching was the first time in my life where I got so angry that the blood all rushed to my head, and I saw dots, and almost passed out (that would have really made me look like a wounded gazelle). I must say that students generally do not have as much of an attachment to core teachers, as they do music teachers or coaches, so it is probably hard being a replacement for those types of positions. Furthermore, not everyone is in the position where they are replacing someone who would have the class play kick ball instead of rehearse, or would spend their planning time smoking pot in the storage room instead of planning OR would show up to teach in pajamas and have a whimsical air about following rules. What good are silly things like rules and structure?

Now you know on daytime television how they have segments about memory loss, and how your brain will block out bad times of your life as a defense mechanism? Well I think my brain is doing that to me about my first year of teaching. It is silly, I know, and there were also many good things that happened last year; but it seems that the further away from 08-09 I get more things I don't remember... and I'm not that old! Right at a time when I was starting to wonder if all my hard work and perserverance was going to pay off some things happened to make me feel like: FINALLY SOMEONE RECOGNIZES HOW HARD I WORK AND THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER!!! You know, like shout it on the mountain top type of feel!

Now, today I had a formal observation review; and while last year my formal observation review was not glowing or even that great, today's was. For instance my administrator said that he has seen nothing to comment on about classroom management. This is huge, administrators always have something to say about classroom management. Score one for me! Then he said that it looks like my students trust me and are excited to learn. Score another for me! Then there was a nice discussion on the structure of my classroom and he basically couldn't stop saying WONDERFUL things about my teaching!

Please excuse me while I climb that mountain behind my house and shout to the heavens about my general awesomeness, and I'll add some Hallelujah's, and some praise Jesus too, and a very sincere THANK YOU!

Then there was a moment this week when I had my orchestra spread out in the gym for sectionals. Now if it was last year, I would be constantly worrying about their productiveness and respecting each other, but this isn't last year anymore. This time, I just took a moment and watched all my students help each other, and have a genuine concern about their ability to play the music, and I am sure this is how parents feel when they see their children interact in some sweet and precious way, but I almost got teary eyed! I was so happy to see positive attitudes and great leadership, I was just beside myself.